Saturday, December 8, 2012

A Cup of Morning Tears

Is it okay if today i share a little about what i feel ? Well, actually I'm not in a good condition, but not in a pain too, but..... ah it is too complicated, sometimes i feel happy too much, and sometimes i feel so blue too much.

It is too early morning to be sad, I'm on the roof of my house, sometimes i imagine how it feels when i jump from this place to the ground, it is about 10 meters, will I be okay after that , or worse than before ? No, No, I'm not talking about suicide, how poor if I'm talking about that, i just.... yap, wanna know how it feels.

I miss my dad, i miss my dad when I'm feeling so distracted , close my eyes for a second, and i wish i have moved to the place i love, near my Dad, and horay my dad is staying here beside me, he is listening to my story, his only-undecided-daughter. I'm saying , throwing, flowing everything, everything about what i feel. But unluckily that's not true, my Dad is not here, is not listening to my story :( 

                                                            so what should i do ?

*silent*

i have chaged to be someone i don't know, this is not me. I never find my self in a little problem and can't solve it alone. Come on ndy, it-is-just-a-little-heart-problem. Well, so how much i have to slap my face to realize that this is not important ? No, it is important, in fact i always think about this :(

                             It is a way too hurt, when you have to smile to the thing you don't love

*silent* *deep breath*

Indeed, I'm in trouble, trouble with my self, i have to let someone go, when actually i know i need him. No, it is not about my boyfriend. It is a way too hurt, and about to scream out loud " DON'T YOU KNOW I NEED YOU! " that's shit -,-

I know, i know, this is not good, not right, "God always has a good plan for you" , sometimes that words are being so mainstream, but i believe in that. 

 If i can't pay this, let the time pay that for me. If i can't solve it then let the God's miracle do the best.

5 comments:

  1. hope everything is okay there :")
    try to make a green tea and relax dear..

    have a nice day :)

    spoonafternoon.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. i made a strawberry shortcake after made this pot by the way haha , thanks dearest

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  2. sometimes, I feel like you feel, a deep feeling, that stuck in my mind, whenever I'm in a crowded place and even worst when I'm alone.
    I call it "saturated and depressed" time.
    But, its ok I think, I should feel that kind of feeling.
    Sorry, so absurd :p
    Stay happy and smile Cancalita! :D

    visit my little cream button♥

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  3. or maybe it becomes teenage-syndrome then ? haha
    a minute after that time i felt happy again, there was no reason why haha

    you too darling ;)
    gonna check yours!

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  4. I hope everything is ok :)
    hope the best for you

    btw love your cover blog :)

    PUTRIVALENTINALIM.BLOGSPOT.COM

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